On my soapbox

I saw an article this morning that reminded me of the recent statements of safety by the FDA of a drug being used to induce chemical abortions named "ella".  Typing that last phrase makes me SICK!  The beautiful name "Ella" has been one of the most popular baby girl names worldwide in the last decade. It means "beautiful fairy" or "bright light."  Most of you probably know an Ella personally.  I know several, including my precious niece.  When I first heard the news of this horrible drug, I wanted to scream.  What a huge slap in the face by HRA Pharma (creator of the drug) and Watson Pharmaceuticals (potential US distributor) to parents everywhere to use such a popular daughter's name as the name for their baby-killing compound!

But, this brings me to another sickening realization.  Many of us in the pro-life camp get all up in arms about abortions, abortion drugs, etc.  We support the pro-life cause:  we rally, put bumper stickers on our cars, and get outraged.  But, what if we make a TON of progress in slowing down abortions or even stopping them?  What then?  There will be more mommies who need support to raise their babies and babies who need homes in cases where their mommy chooses life but cannot raise her child.  Are we ready to rally to their side?  If not, we'd better not get so red-in-the-face with indignation.  We have to figure out a way to move beyond the rhetoric.

There are more than 400 million at-risk children worldwide, and more on the way if we can successfully slow the rate of abortions.  Those kids are vulnerable to every unimaginable evil.  Everyone can pray; everyone can advocate & spread the word.  Some can give money; some can be foster parents, or a mentor, or a Safe Family; some can adopt; some can come alongside a single parent, foster or adoptive family and give much needed support & respite. Some will feel compelled to support domestic causes; others will find their passion in the international community.  There is a place at the table for EVERYONE who values life to put feet to their words.  Please, just do something besides being "anti-abortion".

If you wonder where to begin, check out www.RetailROI.org or www.ShowHope.org, two amazing foundations that I personally can vouch for. There are A LOT of great organizations out there on the front lines.  Find one that makes your heart beat and join them in their work.

Stepping down now.

We got to $1,200, so here you go...

....but there's a LOOOONNNNGGG way to go, so please keep the coin comin'

:)

(killing our) Pride and (sharing our) Joy!!

On August 29th, we were foster parents and adoption advocates, trying desperately to help an agency find a family for a little guy they couldn't match to one of their waiting families.  The Chinese government was knocking on their door, asking for his file back.  Time was up.

On August 30th, we learned that his file was being returned to China.  We frantically emailed the agency to ask them to give us 24 more hours.  No answer.  We went to bed thinking his file was gone.


On August 31st, we learned that the file had been held up in the US one more day because one of the staff just "happened" to leave work early that day and didn't send it out.  That's when an amazing daddy said, "tell the agency we're going to go get him", and we became parents for the 4th time.

Wow. No, really, WOW!

Our son is a happy & beautiful 2 year old. He also happens to have some orthopedic issues involving one of his legs.  We have researched his condition & spoken with doctors about future surgeries & treatment.  What we know for certain is that he has already had 1 surgery and desperately needs physical therapy as soon as possible.  He IS walking and loves to play with cars.  He likes music, going outside to play and is affectionate and not shy around strangers.  Hmmm…already sounds like one of us!! 

There is so much we could say about our amazing and unexpected family journey over the past 6 or 7 years, the way that God has prepared and equipped us, and His beautiful plan for the next chapter in our family story.  We know He is calling us to this because it is not what we would have charted for ourselves. What a joyful suprise!

First, we ask that you would please pray for our family.

Ø      For strength and perseverance in the journey.  It may take us 1 year to get him home.  We hope not; we’re ready to fly out now!  We’re praying that it could be as little as 6 or 7 months since his paperwork is ready and we are already matched to him. 

Ø      For stamina and creativity as we plow through piles of documents, plan fundraisers and prepare for his physical needs.

Ø      For patience and peace.  Everyday that passes, he is growing up without his Mom & Dad, brother & 2 sisters who are eager to love on and care for him.  We’re already learning how hard the waiting is going to be!

Ø      For provision.  The estimated cost of this adoption will be around $25,000; we do not know what his immediate medical expenses will be after we return home.

Second, we ask for your financial help because we need and want you to be part of his story.  A friend recently said, “Nothing kills pride like having to ask for money”.  I don’t know many people who would disagree with that statement.  We wouldn’t.  But, honestly, the main thing in our way is money.  Can you help us?  If any of our children were stuck in a foreign country with no way to get home, we'd be on our hands and knees begging everyone we know for help.  That's the situation we find ourselves in right now.  The need is great, and God's resources are limitless, but He is asking us to humble ourselves and let everyone know what we need.

Please see the left sidebar of this blog for ways you can help us take the next step.  We are planning other fundraisers, but we have pressing expenses right now to keep the process moving forward.

Thank you.  We are truly grateful.

For our little guy,

Singing a new (old) song

God is so good.

God is so good.

God is so good; He's so good to me.

This simple, sweet chorus from my childhood has been hauntingly present in my thoughts recently.  Crazy enough, I've been kinda running away from it.  It's not because it's not true.  Oh, it's powerfully true.  It's not because it's a bad melody.  It's actually very easy & sweet.  One reason I'm running?  It's tied to a painful memory from my teenage years.

A few weeks ago, I was so privileged to sit under the wise & winsome teaching of Dr. Karyn Purvis at an Empowered to Connect conference.  Dr. Purvis, along with Michael & Amy Monroe, and Dan & Terri Coley reminded us of the truth that we must deal with and make sense of our own woundedness so we can parent our children (especially children from hard places) out of our healing not out of our wounds.  I sat through the conference wondering what kinds of Traumas (big) or traumas (little) I may still have unresolved from those younger years.  Honestly, I lived a blessed, sweet, protected and nurtured childhood.  I couldn't come up with any real examples as I sat there.  Please note that I didn't say that my childhood was free from great pain, loss, difficult changes, etc.  But, all in all, my folks navigated those years with a great deal of grace and taught us to stay close to God, the only One who could truly heal, comfort & restore life & joy in spite of hard stuff.

But God, in His kindness as a  Loving Father, is showing me that I still have some raw places relating to my childhood church family.  This sweet, simple chorus unlocked for me an area where I still needed the tender healing of God.  As I began hearing this song in my head this week, my first reaction was to dismiss it.  It wasn't a "cool" song; it was introduced to me by a people just going through the motions of life (or so I thought); it was boring, redundant and sung with little conviction; and, I learned it in a safe place that turned out to be not so safe.

What God is helping me to unpack is that I still have hurts from that time period when the only church I knew went through a contentious, painful split.  At the time, I could only feel the unkindness and hurt, and when I left home for college during that raw time, I vowed to never go back to that place.  What started as the hurt in a child's heart grew into an arrogant & dismissive posture of a young adult.

Over the years, I've dealt in bits & pieces with that sore spot in my life and have been able to forgive & move on.  But I realized over the past weeks that I still have a tiny remnant of arrogance & hurt left over.  As I've thought about that community of faith over the years, I've had mostly fond memories, but there was always a tiny red flag waving in the recesses of my mind, or more accurately, in my heart.  My heart would wince, and my head would say, "thank God I've moved away from and (I'm ashamed to admit) BEYOND those people and their ways."

So I've been reflecting on these uncomfortable revelations.  One of the foundational messages of the conference was to look for and discover the preciousness of a hard to reach, hard to parent child.  If we can't learn to do that, all of our formulas & strategies may be useless, even damaging.  We have to begin with compassion.

What if my refusal to completely forgive and to recognize the preciousness of my early community of faith was blocking me from complete healing?  If that hurt had been allowed to give way to arrogance and dismissiveness, what could I be missing?

I almost missed a simple, soothing, melodic way to calm an anxious little guy and to introduce my new son to some powerful truths about His Heavenly Father.

It may be the first song I sing to him in China.

God is so good...

He answers prayer...

I love Him so....

HE'S SO GOOD TO ME.

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BOY IN CHINA!!

25th Anniversary - Looks like we made it; look how far we've come, my baby

Do you remember the 21st night of September?
Love was changing the minds of pretenders
While chasing the clouds away

Our hearts were ringing
In the key that our souls were singing.
As we danced in the night,
Remember how the stars stole the night away

Ba de ya - say do you remember
Ba de ya - dancing in September
Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day

My thoughts are with you
Holding hands with your heart to see you
Only blue talk and love,
Remember how we knew love was here to stay

Now December found the love that we shared in September.
Only blue talk and love,
Remember the true love we share today

~ Earth, Wind & Fire

Happy Birthday to the Father of my Children

When Hubby & I got to that point in our dating when we realized that there might just be something in this match-up, the normal conversations about what we wanted for our future began to happen.  One of the many "dreaming together" sessions was, of course, about children.  We both definitely wanted children.  I KNEW I wanted children with THIS man. I saw his tender heart from the very first day we spent getting to know each other, sitting in the lobby of Dunn Hall on an ordinary Friday afternoon.  He carried a picture in his wallet of his niece, Katy, then 4 months old, and she was one of the first people he told me about.  As I watched him gush about her, I began to fall hard for him. That was my first glimpse into the heart of this man.


Greg wanted 2 children (he is one of 2); I always wanted 4 children (I am, you guessed it, one of 4).  So, we compromised at 3.  I'd love to tell you that we felt this was the perfect divine revelation delivered to us after much prayer and seeking God's wisdom.  But the truth is, while we DID and DO pray for God's direction for all of our life, we simply compromised at 3.  It felt right, it worked, although it wasn't what either of us had originally thought or planned.


So, fast forward to 2010.  We've lived through almost 17 years of parenting this odd group of 3 (and I don't mean odd NUMBERED group of 3...hee hee) and you know what happens.  God surprises us with new life, new dreams.  A new son.  It's a LITTLE different than we thought or planned or dreamed (are you seeing a pattern here?), but we are finding great joy in God's fulfillment of Psalm 37:4...Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.


You see, this time God gave us an opportunity to watch in joyful amazement & delight as He unfolded HIS plan, a plan we didn't see coming and didn't create out of our wisdom, common sense or earthly dreams.  God is showing us that as we desire to stay close to Him and participate in all that He is already doing in the world, He satisfies the deepest desires of our heart.  


God doesn't NEED us to meet the needs of our next door neighbors, the homeless downtown or the children & single moms in war-torn Africa.  I firmly believe that God, who is all, has all, and can do all, could drop a blanket of provision, healing and security over Sub-Saharan Africa or urban America that would end all suffering and amaze the world.  He could do that WITHOUT US, but He loves us so much that He lets us to do stuff with Him.  He ALLOWS us to be part of bringing provision, healing & hope.  Since He created us, He knows that we have deep desires for belonging, companionship, significance.  That we matter to SOMEONE.  That our lives mean something more than the tasks of our days.  Perhaps that's why He keeps inviting us to stay close to Him and do what He's doing - in our living rooms, our neighborhoods and the far corners of the world.  


God doesn't need the Kroeker family to foster babies or advocate for vulnerable children or adopt one of his precious children as our son.  The Kroeker family NEEDS to be involved in orphan care & advocacy; we NEED to adopt our little guy.  God has invited us to do these things out the many ways He's at work in the world.  We need to be with Him.


I cannot begin to count the many things we would've missed so far if we had not listened and responded to God's gracious invitation.  But I can tell you one thing:  if Greg had not desired to listen to the heart of God and responded to Him, I would've missed another beautiful opportunity to see the heart of this man.  When he learned that a certain little guy's file was in danger of being closed by the agency & returned to China, he said, "I'm not going to let that happen.  We're going to go get him."


Another little boy has a daddy.  I have a hero.


Happy Birthday to the love of my life, and the father of my FOUR children! :)

The BEST email in the world (so far)

...just communicated the INCREDIBLE news that we've been pre-approved by the Chinese government to adopt our SON!  [pardon me while I get a little "earthy", but this feels like the peeing-on-a-stick-and-seeing-the-blue-line moment.]  OH. MY. GOODNESS.

God is not messing around with this thing.  Once we realized this little guy was ours and said "yes", the train has been running full steam ahead.  The Chinese review process that was supposed to take up to 3-4 weeks, took 4 DAYS!  When they said "expedited process", they really meant it!!  We can share the great news and more information with everyone.  We can send care packages to him.  He can KNOW that he has a FAMILY waiting for him.  Soli Deo Gloria.  I'm in a puddle. :)

Interestingly enough, here's what I read this morning on a friend's Facebook status:

"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! -- Psalm 27:14"

and if THAT was not enough, one of my "daughters" wrote this reminder:

"It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority." -- Acts 1:7

Ok, very good reminders at any time, but amazing & timely truth I really needed to hear this morning as I wait.  So, then God chooses that moment to bless me with this sweet news.

There is a mountain of paperwork and fees between us right now, but WE HAVE A SON.  An adorable, affectionate, 2-year-old Chinese son who likes music, going outside and playing with cars.  He has some orthopedic issues with one leg, but he is walking.  We can't wait to get him home and start some desperately needed physical therapy.  I'm not ready to post a picture here yet, but I have them "on my person", so catch up to me soon so you can gaze in wonder at our precious little guy.  He is beautiful.

We're hoping to bring him home as early as possible in the Spring, but we cannot do this alone.  Would you consider helping us?  This is all happening so quickly (at least THIS phase), that we have to raise at least $4,500 RIGHT NOW to even take the next step.  If you would like to be part of this first wave of fundraising, please check out the left side for ways to "Help Bring a little Kroeker Home!"  If even 1/2 of just our family's Facebook friends (not including all you regular people!!) would donate just $15-20 per person, we would have more than enough to cover ALL the fees that are due in this first part of our journey to him. Every little bit helps...the power of community. Thank you!!

And, just for fun....

First you must seek it. Then it will be revealed to you.

Wisdom...contentment...the fingerprints of God...

A few years ago, it occurred to me that much of my understanding about life, love & other mysteries (the work of God, among them!) comes to me through what appears to random clarity. - some people may call them "a-HA" moments.  I believe in the core of my being that things aren't random.  My hope & trust is in a loving God who is consistent, purposeful, powerful - one who loves to reveal Himself in many ways if, in the words of a precious friend, we choose to SEE. 


 So, really I know that the apparent randomness doesn't come from God but from me.  He's given me plenty of opportunities to see His good hand at work in my life and my world (Romans 1:19&20), so I know that it's ME who has random clarity as my heart & mind have eyes to see.  Maybe I'm not ready to see; maybe I'm too stubborn to see; maybe I have something blocking my ability to see. 


But God is THERE; He is REAL; He is MAKING SENSE out of all of my life.  


I just might be looking in a poor mirror for now.

The Good News, the Scary News, and a CHALLENGE

We got the WONDERFUL news on Monday that:

1. Our Letter of Intent for our little one has been sent to the government for their pre-approval.  We are "locked-in" to our child for now pending their decision; and,
2. Our application has been accepted by the placing agency!!

What that means.  We're a big step closer to our newest Kroeker!!

 .....and lots of fees are due RIGHT NOW.  Wow, things are moving quickly.  We've got to come up with about $2,300 right away, $1,900 in about 2 weeks, and another chunk a few weeks after that.  If we can't turn in the fees in a timely way, our paperwork process slows, and the date for bringing the lilttle whipper-snapper home gets pushed back. :'(

So, we're initiating a BRING A LITTLE KROEKER HOME FACEBOOK CHALLENGE.  We've figured that if even HALF of our family's facebook friends would jump in and donate just $15-20, we would have these fees covered.  Will you join us and be a wild & fun part of this story?

It could be CRAZY to see how much we could raise in only 24, 48 or 72 hours just through social networking.  The Challenge begins NOW!  Click on the DONATE button to the left.

This online/Paypal part of this fund-raising strategy is through Paypal, and therefore, not tax-deductible. If you would like to make a tax-deductible donation through our church, please see the instructions under the Paypal button.  Either way.....

THANK YOU!!!

Why family5k and more?

For several years, we've referred to our little homestead as "5kRanch".  It's not much of a ranch, just a few acres in the country with a small, older ranch-style home, a barn (we built with the help of a world-class contractor - my dad!!), and a couple of horses on a little more than 5 acres.  There are also 5 of us in the family, so 5K Ranch felt like it fit.  Of course, the common reference to a 5K race was just a fun side note.  Well, we are not a family of 5 any more, so what do we do?  6K?  We've already had 11 babies from interim care, so our "family" outpaced 5K quite a while ago.  So, if you were wondering why "family5Kandmore"? There you have it.  Welcome to our world.

Wow, this just might be fun!

Entering the blog world with fear & trepidation.....