Off We Go!!

Thank you all so much for the many, many ways you have supported us.  We are off to fold that beautiful little guy into this eagerly waiting family.  Feel free to follow along on the adventure at family5kandmore.shutterfly.com We'll do our best to post in the midst of all the little boy craziness.

And, lest anyone finds this blog and thinks, "what a great opportunity to ransack the family farm!", I leave you with this thought I posted on FB recently:

>>HAHAHA!! This is what my friend posted prior to his travel last year.

Starting tomorrow, I will not be available for a couple of weeks. We are going to China to pick up our little guy! I can't wait!!  Now, if anybody reading this want to use this opportunity to rob my house, I have a house sitter, a large hungry dog, an alarm system, cameras, an LAPD officer who lives across the street, and my next door neighbor with a few guns! Have fun!

For the record, we have many of the same "benefits" in place for when we travel, including neighbors who watch out closely, an officer with K-9 "assistance" across the street, plus an attack barn cat. :)

Plus, there's nothing of value left; it's all been liquidated and sent to Ch*na.

Chosen & Dearly Loved

We received the WONDERFUL news this week that we have been awarded a $3500 matching grant from Chosen & Dearly Loved (in partnership with Lifesong for Orphans) to raise the remaining funds we need.  We are so grateful for their support in helping us raise the funds we need to travel to our very own chosen & dearly loved son.

As it is a MATCHING grant, we need anyone & everyone's help, so please share this link and information with anyone you know that may be interested in any year-end, TAX-DEDUCTIBLE giving opportunities.  It would mean so much to us.  We are so close - all of the steps in the process point to us travelling in 6-10 weeks - but we still have that last chunk of change to raise.  Our travel expenses are higher than normal because our little guy is from a rather remote area.

UPDATE: as our funds were so generously raised, I've removed the details for our matching grant. Please consider supporting the following organizations who are helping other families.  We can personally vouch for each of these.

Chosen & Dearly Loved
Lifesong for Orphans
Show Hope 
Tim Tebow Foundation

Thank you so much!!

Updates, updates, upDATES

We (well, "I") always get a little silly when we get new pics & info about our little man.  So, grab the people around you, come-on-everybody-do-the-conga style, and sing with me, "Updates, updates, up-DATES!"  Again!   "Updates, updates, up-DATES!" Move around the room.  Grab more people (introduce yourself if you need to...) ;)  "Updates, updates, up-DATES!"

Little dude is about 35 in tall now, and 25 lbs., which translates to LONG & LEAN.  By the clothing charts, that would be 2T in length but about 12 months in his waist.  HA!  Looks like Big Daddy G will have to bring me some rope from the barn to cinch up the little buckeroo's britches.

And, this tidbit:  "he is a bundle of energy and fun with a really lovely sharing nature"

Ok, wait a sec...

Isn't he BEAUTIFUL??!!!

This. kid.  My. heart.

Alright, I'm back now.  Hmmm, where were we?  Oh yeah, updates...

Just to bring everyone up to speed, the Chin*se adoption process is solid:  predictable & stable.  There are certain steps that have a specific timeframe, and a few steps that are variable.  We've just crossed the last big variable hurdle - LOA (Letter of Acceptance) - the official match of our paperwork to our son's.  All this time, we've been "pre-approved", pending the sufficiency of our dossier.

The much anticipated LOA document pretty much says:  The Ch*nese government has matched you to ________________.  Do you accept this match?

Do I accept this match???!!!!

Let me just say, it took all that is within me to NOT write:

Heck, YEAH!!

Ok, my bark is worse than my bite.  I wasn't REALLY tempted to do that.  Not even a little.  In fact, when these documents come through, there is a crazy anxiety that grabs you temporarily because you KNOW that you are going to be THE ONE to mess it up, and, for-goodness-sake, it's not like we can go print another "original" off at Kinko's.

So, we dutifully & politely checked:  "We accept this child" and, with a shaky hand, double checking that we were hovered above the exact right spot, signed and dated this beautiful document.

Phew...

Now, the rest of the process is rather predictable, and we are definitely on track to travel in 10-12 weeks. However, a little, tiny obscure holiday happens to fall on January 31st, and the country will PARTY for the following 2 weeks.  Chinese New Year is only the biggest, baddest, greatest holiday celebrated there all year, so everything will be shut down for part of those 2 weeks.  And, it will be too crazy & crowded to travel in the midst of it (even though I would LOVE to experience this important part of my boys' culture in person!!  Food, family & fireworks??  Yes, please!)

So, unless something really big happens to derail all of the little pleasantries the 2 governments will be exchanging in breathless anticipation of our arrival in the Motherland (it's late; I'm going downhill fast. sorry), we should be able to travel the 2nd half of February to absorb our amazing little bro into this crazy clan.  Cool, huh?

Honestly, I have to be a little silly at times about this because the process is heavy, the wait is long, the reason he's available is tragic, but the gift to our family is unbelievably good.  So good.  God has preserved this little one's life and, in His great kindness, has created a perfect shaped hole in our hearts for him to fill.  I love and miss one I have never met.  It is a bit of a mystery, and it wrecks me again and again.

I don't know how to perfectly segue into this:  we still need help to get there.  We're making progress, but there is still a financial "ocean" to cross before we cross the real one to unite our family.  If you want to support our family in bringing our little cowboy home for good, the information is over here on the side somewhere ------------------->>>>  If you have any questions, please feel free to email us at any time HERE.

Thank you so much for sharing our excitement.  Please pray for us as we continue to prepare to become a family of 7.  Of utmost importance to us is equipping our 5 year old for the trip back to his birth-land and for his new role of sharing the rest of us with his little brother.  He is so excited, to the extent he "gets it", but this trip back may be very hard on him.  We are thankful beyond words for the work of Dr. Purvis and the Empowered to Connect team, as well as the counsel of wise, more adoption-seasoned friends, who continually remind us of the complexity of parenting these 2 precious sons from hard places but also remind us that there is great HOPE that joy and healing are available in the midst of the pain.  Seriously, if you have a child in your life - whether you are the auntie or uncle, teacher, parent, grandparent, friend - ETC is the BEST overall training on connecting to the heart of that child, adopted or not.

I think it was the Peace Corp who had the slogan years ago:  It's the toughest job you'll ever love.  Sorry, PC, parenthood trumps you in this.

Our hearts are so full.

boys & summer buzz cuts - proud family tradition

sweet lil stinker

It pays to be a Super Sleuth (or a very determined waiting mama!)

Lookey at what I found snooping around the interweb!!!

Don't know by whom or how this was put together, but this is OUR beautiful little guy.  Cannot WAIT to hold this amazing kiddo in my arms and bring him home for GOOD!

Meet Our Little Guy <<<<<click here!!

[And, for those of you keeping track, our dossier is in DC getting all gussied up for the trip to Ch*na.  We also got our fingerprinting appointment today, so we're moving right along!  Hoping that we can be done with this leg of the journey by mid-August.  Fingers crossed. :)]

Tidal Waves and Birthdays, Part Deux

OK, so we've talked tidal waves of fees.  Let's talk other tidal waves...

But, first, a little quote, then some context.

From "The House of Hope", Robin & Joyce Hill use the following imagery when describing their decision to begin their full-time work with orphaned & abandoned children in Ch*na:

It seemed...as if they were being asked to step into a river, and although she had no idea where they would end up exactly, they could trust that it would take them to the right place. (p. 41)

 Later, Robin reflects further:

...they have been swirled around a few times, and even had to shoot some white-knuckled rapids, physically, emotionally and spiritually, but they have entrusted their lives to that river of love that flows from God's heart,... Time after time, they have seen the evidence of how much God wants to provide abundantly and even extravagantly for the discarded and abandoned...

...the invitation to jump in that river, and see where it takes you, is open to every ordinary person, and if you choose to make that leap, it may be a shock to the system, but God can be trusted to do what He wants to do.  Rob says, "It is possible to spend your whole life focusing on your own comfort and safety, or you can accept God's invitation to come into that river of His amazing love." (p.216-217, emphasis mine)

When Greg & I read those words last year, something welled up within both of us that said, "YES! and Amen."  That simple, but powerful, clear analogy resonated with us so strongly.  It helped put words to the pieces of our own story and expressed the reality of our own lives.

jumped in
swirled around white-knuckled
shock to the system

Update and A little horsing around...

Our little dude has been advocated for before.  Thought y'all might like to see what others have said about him.

(And, doesn't "Shane" sound like a good cowboy name??  It's how the former agency referred to him since Chin*se names are not shared publicly.  Not a bad moniker during the wait!)

http://www.asiahope.blogspot.com/2011/11/shane-fast-as-lightening.html

http://tenlittleducklings.blogspot.com/2013/03/shane.html

Doesn't he sound fun??  We've heard from other updates very much the same thing - that he is fast, active, full of personality, and a bit of a stinker, but really sweet and engaging.  Looks like we may have our hands full with this one AND his "big" brother Joel.

Seth's limb difference is fairly complicated, and we don't really know what all will be involved once we get home.  He has quite a bit of orthopedic work ahead, but we have an AMAZING ortho team who will help him achieve the best outcome.  Joel has thrived under their care, and we expect even more great progress down the road for him.  We are truly blessed with an incredible community that will welcome, embrace & care for our precious newest cowboy.

WHERE WE ARE NOW:
Our homestudy just completed its final revision stage.  THANK YOU for helping us that piece paid off!  Our homestudy agency filed paperwork with US Immigration (I-800a) on Friday.  I spent Friday in paperwork heaven (or hades, depending on your perspective!)  After 9 stops at various agencies & gov't offices (and 7 1/2 hours running the roads in Nashville area traffic, BLECH...), I was able to get the remainder of our documents ready for the final certification and approval, so basically, our dossier is nearly DONE.  We are moving right along, except....

Now, we wait.

This is a hurry-up-get-your-stuff-signed-quickly-and-FedEx-it-back-then-wait-FOREVER-for-agencies-to-process-it journey.

Sigh...

Soon, we will be fingerprinted, and hopefully be approved with no real fanfare nor delays to bring a new family member into the country.  That 1 page approval document is the last item to complete our dossier for submitting to Ch*na. If I get my birthday wish this week, that won't take more than 6 or 7 weeks.

Then, we can scramble around to get it notarized, certified, sanctified, glorified, and get it to our agency so they can finish our dossier and get it on its merry way to our little man's motherland A.S.A.P!!!!

Then, we will wait.
Again.
Ugh...

In the meantime, we're enjoying learning all we can about his home area and what our trip to a different province of Ch*na will look like.  It's a sweet & fascinating piece of this puzzle that Seth's province is known for horses & grassland, even though he has not experienced that lifestyle.  Yet. :)  What a wonderful connection; we're eager to experience a little of it (albeit in the dead of winter!) when we travel.  And, then bring that lil buckeroo home and introduce him to the "grasslands" of home.

Definitely room in that saddle for lil brother

Big Daddy G is NOT holding on.  Little man is riding ALL BY HIMSELF!!

Tidal Waves and birthdays

This is the blog post that I imagine every adoptive family struggles to write, dreads to post, wishes to not hope so much in...

...asking for help.

It's inevitable for most of us in this situation and common to many adoptive families in process of gathering their children into their nest.  We have room in our hearts and in our home and in our family budget to parent another child.  We are eager to love, nurture and raise another precious son.  But we cannot keep up with the waves of extra costs that keep coming in as regular as the tide.  We need financial help to bring our Seth home.  Many adoption expenses come in BIG chunks that are time-sensitive (along with many, many little costs sprinkled in between!!)  The process comes to a grinding halt at various stages without those big fees paid in full.  We are DESPERATE to keep things moving.  Seth turned 3 years old last week without us; Joel turned 5 a few days later at HOME.

The contrast for us was heartbreaking.

If you are inclined to & ready to help us with the adoption expenses, you probably don't need any reasons why or have questions about how/why it costs so much, etc...feel free to skip the rest of this blog and grab the donation info from the sidebar.  

And THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts.  You have no idea how much encouragement every donation brings.

If you'd like a little more info about where we are in the process, read on...

The next big step to keep moving involves final fees for our homestudy, US immigration application & dossier completion.  We've been working like crazy to get the pieces put together.  Once our dossier is sent to Ch!na, we have a bit of a wait for the in-country approvals & connections to happen.  That will also be a time for us to apply for grants, sell what we can, save up more nickels, etc...  

We know for sure that God will provide; He's promised He would, and we've seen His powerful, reassuring work before and are confident that He'll do it again.  We have no doubt that He could drop the rest of the fees into our lap today, if He chose to.  But, He is about relationship - our relationship & dependence on Him, and our relationships & interdependence with others.  We've been on both sides of this process, and in both places we've experienced the joy of giving & receiving, the humility of recognizing that our gifts are small but that each one is significant and represents a sacrifice, and the AMAZEMENT that God has allowed us to be part of each other's journey.  We have a vested interest in each other when we open ourselves and admit our need, and when we offer our support.  SO, I'm sure THAT'S why God doesn't choose to send a money bag down through the clouds to take care of everything ourselves.  Darn it, anyhow. ;)

We need to need help.
  
We need to be needed to help others.

The need for us right now?  

$1,560 ASAP (this week!!) for Homestudy & US Immigration

PLUS

$5,075 in the next few weeks to get that big ol' dossier to Ch1na!!

(See what I mean? Waves...crashing...)

I'm thankful for this promise:

 You can be sure that God will take care of everything you need, his generosity exceeding even yours in the glory that pours from Jesus. Our God and Father abounds in glory that just pours out into eternity. Yes.  Phil. 4:19 (The Message)

Yes!!

Oh yeah, they gone...

It's big.

It's wonderful.

It's ordinary.

It's heavy.

[...so, I have a wee little drama gene that is fun to call up into service, but it can easily take over and scream "NOT ENOUGH! NEED MORE CAPITALS! NEED MORE EXCLAMATION POINTS!!! NEED MORE CONFETTI!!  It's a drama gene, for crying out loud!]

Okay, Okay. Hold your horses.

No, I am NOT pregnant (although I have, at times, felt the urge to eat enough for two...)

But, I am expecting!  Expecting, waiting, preparing, waiting, dreaming, hoping, WAITING, planning, weeping, WAITING...

for this.

This. beautiful. face.  This spunky little man.  This courageous survivor. This child of mine.  Our son.  Munchkin #5.

Number 5!!!  Big Daddy G initially wanted 2 children (that's what he knew & grew up with); I wanted 4 (that's what I grew up with); we thought that we were done with 3.

And, then FOUR...

But, it just keeps getting better.

(Big, overwhelmed, contented sigh...)

Ok, before any of you say, "I knew it! I knew you'd adopt again!", just let me say that might be the equivalent of saying to someone who's pregnant for the 4th, 5th, 6th, etc. time, "You know how that happens, right?" I promise not to sock you in the nose if you do the 'I-told-you-so', but I'm not sure the rest of my family will comply.  You've been warned. ;)  (And, for the record, we sort-a suspected we weren't done adding to our family.  So, there. :p)

But, really, say what you want, we can take it!  God has surprised and blessed us beyond our imaginations.

WE HAVE ANOTHER SON!

We've just received pre-approval from Ch*na to pursue adopting this wee one, so we really do have some waiting to do.  Our "paperchase" is in full swing, but we're still looking at several months before we can fold this one into this family and settle him into our nest here on the homestead.

[Stay tuned for more news and updates.]

Feel free to do the happy dance with us, if you must.  And you MUST.

Happy, happy, happy.

[misc references compliments of Duck Dynasty, Jack.]

Follow us to China

To make life easier for the trip, we will be uploading and blogging over at Shutterfly.  Come along and see what we are up to.

Random Clarity photo blog

See you over there.

Also, I've linked to some of our fellow traveler's blogs to the left.  You never know if we might show up in one of their pictures.  Follow them for another perspective on the trip.

Big Hugs!
Suzanne

Adoption as a Paper Pregnancy - the unexpected onset of labor (Travel Approval)

Warning:  this will really ramble.  No...., more than usual.

We got the amazing news this morning that our US Consulate Appointment in China has been confirmed. That is basically the last thing we do before we bring our son home as a US citizen.  The rest of our adoption trip is built around that date.  Usually one has a minimum of 2-4 weels before one leaves in order to carefully review COMPETITIVELY PRICED itineraries, plan for departure cities that are appealing, gather travel supplies in an orderly and calm manner, ponder & question options - this hotel or that one; this airlines or the other; Newark, Chicago or Dulles? Hong Kong, Bejing, stop in Tokyo?

Not us.  We leave in 1 week.  Our options are limited and expensive.

We're in a bit of shock.  God's not.  Thank GOD (truly).

I texted my sister in a moment of panic this morning.  She replied:

Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side. 

Leave to thy God to order and provide. 

In every change, He faithful will remain 

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

One of our family's favorite hymns.  In case you don't know already, my sister knows what thorny ways looks like. She became a widow & single parent to my beautiful young nephews last summer.  She's the baby of our family.  She knows panic; she knows unexpected.  She knows joy & mercy.  She knows faithfulness of a good & loving Father.  Our Father.  

Joel's Father.

So, He's not wringing His hands.  (and I'm trying not to.)  I love being His child.

We are beyond excited!  This reminds me so much of Anna's (my youngest "Big") birth.  We were on the hospital calendar for a C-section... in ink.... confirmed. She decided to come 2 1/2 weeks early.  I wasn't ready.  The house wasn't ready.  I didn't know if I had prepared Audra & Will enough for their sister.  I didn't know if I was ready to be a parent of 3 children under 4 years old.  But it was time.

It's time.  [I need an epidural.  Somebody please call Dr. Presley. :)]

I'm weepy, scared, hormonal, THRILLED, ready-to-drop-everything-and-go, not ready in the least, THANKFUL, anxious.  And leaning harder into Jesus than ever. Desperate for His parenting skills and grace.

And, in all this, my heart breaks, too.  Joel has NO true idea what's about to happen to him. He's going to be taken from the only place and "mamas" he's ever known and handed to us for good.  I mean, my Hubby is adorable and all, but he's a STRANGER.  We LOVE this little guy, but he has no idea who we are.  We've prayed constantly through this "pregnancy" that God would whisper peace into Joel's heart.  That he would know very quickly that he is safe with us, HIS mom & dad.  We desperately want him to know he can trust us.  (BTW, if you've never heard a daddy pray for his child on the other side of the world, you should.  Few things in life are that sweet.)

The past couple of days have been the perfect example of the strange parallels of life - a microcosm of our family's last year.  Beautiful highs, crashing lows.  Love & sorrow.  Grief & joy.

By leaving early, we get to see our son sooner, but I don't get to travel with a friend who has walked the journey with us & longs to see her little girl.  They must wait a couple weeks. [UPDATE:  they get to travel early, too!!!  Yea!!]  Other friends watch as we pass them up, and they continue to wait for money, paperwork, permission to travel.

Joel gets to come home sooner, but I don't feel quite as prepared here to welcome him to our world.  But, in Papa Bear's words last night, "if Joel walked through the front door right now, we'd be OK.  We'd set up a place for him to sleep and figure it all out."  Comfort, contented sigh....  I love my husband.  This is going to be a great, belated 25th Anniversary Trip!!

AND, as we rejoice, we have 2 sets of friends who grieve great loss & pain.  A young man from our former church in Indiana lost his life on Sunday: family, friends, a church devastated.  Another young son had an accident on Sunday and suffered a serious brain injury.  The family, friends and a community waits and hopes and prays for healing.

Life, in its fullness. How do we live with these extremes?

So, we are (and ask you to join us) lifting the Wilson and Daniel families in their time of sorrow.  We pray for healing, peace, comfort, strength and Supernatural relief from the pain for them.  PLEASE pray with us for these hurting families.  We joyfully thank God for His sweet provision and the blessing of a son for us.  We look forward to the Day when all things will finally make sense.

"There are two days in my calendar: This day and that Day."  ~Martin Luther

[Thanks for the reminder, SCC.  That quote has succinctly revolutionized my days.]

Sorry to ramble.  Just wanted to get my thoughts down on paper.  Now, I gotta run and pull together my crazy life and GO. GET. MY. SON!!

((Hugs))

Without words.....well, almost.

Me?  Without words?  Takes a lot to get there for me.  Those of you that know me are not shocked, I know.   But truly, perfect, even adequate words fail me now to express my ..... see, I don't know what to even call it.  Amazement? Joy? Wonder? Gratitude?  Awe.

God has provided for us in a beautiful, all-sufficient way.  Everything we lacked to bring Joel home has now been provided.  We have all the funds we need to travel, get our son, and bring him home.  God knows each one of us so well, and he knows who to bring alongside each of us in our journeys.  Fundraising is one of the most daunting parts to an adoptive family.  It shouldn't be.  God has proven himself as a perfect provider over and over - in our lives, our extended families' lives, in our friends' lives as well.  One man told me at the beginning of our adoption journey that raising the money would be the easy part.

Excuse me?  The Easy Part??

I understand why he said it, and, truth be told, he was right.  Compared to walking through the other difficulties that have come up? Compared to preparing to grow our family and prepare for a beautiful child who has many unknown pieces?  Compared to the crazy paperwork chase?  Compared to WAITING months and months to hold a child we know & so long for?  Compared to raising another child for life?

No, raising the money on the front end of adoption is much easier than that.  Well, it's all relative.  Fundraising is hard; humbling oneself to ask for help is hard; saving and pinching pennies and working extra and selling stuff can be hard.  But it is so worth it.  We HAD to have help; we HAD to invite others into our story.  We are not alone.  God raised up a community around us.  More people than just US are invested in our son.  That's very cool.

And now, we can focus on getting everything ready to travel and ready here to have a toddler living among us again.

So, there, I guess I found some words.  We are praising God for his provision.  We thank YOU for listening to the prompting of God's heart to help us in this way.  We are overwhelmed with joy and peace and amazement at how God loves and cares for His kids and how He allows us to be part of each others' stories.

Together is better.  Thanks for walking the journey with us.

(And, in case you are on the fence about adoption simply because of finances, jump into the arena.  God owns the cattle on a thousand hills; it's no big deal for him to sell off a few to place a child in a forever family.)

Coming in through the FRONT DOOR

Joel has been approved by Immigration!  Wahoo!  Now we don't have to hide him in the suitcase!!  Just kidding.  BUT, this is a wonderful next step in the process.  In the eyes of the US gov't, we have been provisionally approved to classify this beautiful little boy as our IMMEDIATE RELATIVE.  Yep.  Pretty cool to see that on another official document.

What next?  This is the part I referred to in my last post where the 2 governments get cozy, exchange pleansantries and work together sending love notes back and forth until they agree on when we can travel.  Sooooo, about 3 more steps until we get our invitation to the BALL...um, well...airport.  Each step = about 2 weeks, so sometime early June, we should be staring our angel in the face!  Big Daddy G & I can't wait!

[ok, so I should've probably warned you already, that my posts could get progressively more and more mushy and filled with crazy CAPITAL LETTERS and Exclamation Points!!!]

We are truly in awe of all that God has done, is doing and will do in our family through all of this - fostering, advocacy and now adoption.  We're amazed and freaked out that we will have a 3 year old in a couple of months, but we cannot stop grinning from ear to ear.  Life is full, crazy, sometimes very hard, and beautiful.  God is doing exactly what he has promised:

To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.  Isaiah 61:3a

No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you.  John 14:18

Hallelujah.

LOA, I-800, Art 5 and other gobbledy-goop

We got the wonderful news today that our agency, CCAI, received our LOA today!!  Yea!  Rejoice with us!!  What?  You don't know what that means?!  (hee hee...  neither did we until we got submerged into this process.)   Let me explain so you can REALLY celebrate!

LOA is the "Letter Seeking Confirmation of Adopter", or in layman's terms, the paper that asks us if we REALLY want this little man.  Ummmm.....Heck to the YEA-YAH!  Even though we were pre-approved in September, and China agreed to work with us to adopt our sweet one, it was all pending final approval once they got our dossier and reviewed it.  Welp, this is the final approval.  (big grins!)

AND, even though US Immigration has already approved us generally to adopt a little one from China, we now file another US Immigration application to bring this specific Chinese dude home.  This LOA is part of that immigration application.  Hopefully, very soon, we'll have USCIS approval for the 2nd time around.

THEN, the US & Chinese government agencies get together, have lunch, go out for drinks, or whatever they need to do to talk about when we should travel to get said Chinese little dude.  Those little friendly gatherings result in an Article 5, Travel Approval (TA) and Consulate Appointment (CA).  Each step takes a couple weeks, SOOOOO...we could (realistically, hopefully, prayerfully) travel sometime late May/early June.

ARE WE EXCITED?  You bet your sweet bippy we are!  Are we freaking out?  doing the happy dance?  totally distracted?  Whoaaa, YES!!

But mostly, we are so incredibly thankful that we have the privilege of growing our family and parenting this beautiful boy.  Truly.  God has lavishly blessed us with another son.  Words cannot contain our joy or amazement at His plan.  WOW!  We are really With-Out-Words.

OK, so now we get back to work.  More paperwork to fill out, more preparations to be made here for a toddler to join this household, and a little more money to be raised!

Saddle up!

Soli Deo Gloria.

So thankful

Along this long journey to be united with our son, God has provided very cool reminders that He is in this.  That He knows exactly where Joel William is and loves him with a love that goes far beyond what we could ever show him.  One of those cool things happened a few weeks ago.

A beautiful little boy a half a world away was examined by a wonderful orthopedic surgeon from Nashville, Tennessee.  In the Chinese orphanage.  Out of all the children who live there.  Tender touch; encouraging prognosis.  And images were captured to share this extraordinary moment with his eagerly waiting forever family. 

And then, the beautiful little boy got a package from his eagerly waiting forever family. 

~A stuffed horse that belonged to his big brother~

~Warm socks for sweet, small, toddler feet~

~Fleecy sweatsuits for the cold days of winter that remain~

~"Thank You" chocolates for nannies who hold him until we can~

Items we chose... and touched... and prayed over were placed in his uncertain, scared hands.

Now, we wait...

...and pray that his precious heart is comforted somehow by his Heavenly Father with the knowledge that he also has an earthly father, mother, brother & sisters that love him dearly and are coming soon for him.

...and desperately hope for fast processing of all remaining paperwork by 2 governments.

Timeline update:  We were logged-in (LID) to the Chinese government agency that processes adoptions (CCAA) on February 15, 2011.  Our long-held hope of traveling in April is not realistic at this point.  There are still several steps before we are invited to travel to pick him up.  Estimates are that travel should happen approximately 4-6 months from LID, but we are really, REALLY, REALLY praying & hoping that we can travel in May. Our angel's birthday is in June; we'd love to have him knitted in to this crazy family before then.

This is God's Word on the subject: "I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.  

Jeremiah 29:11 (The Message)

Happy Chinese New Year!!

Hoping to get a package to our little guy for Chinese New Year.  Some friends are travelling to the motherland in a few days, so we hope they can somehow get it to him.

It's been fun to read about the traditions surrounding this most important of all Chinese holidays.  For starters, it lasts 15 days.  FIFTEEN DAYS!!  And the country all but closes down for nearly a week - government, post office, many businesses - to party!  Fireworks, dumplings, new haircuts, decluttering and lots of days off to play & visit with family & friends!  These people know how to celebrate.

What this means for us:

1. Little brother probably has a new buzz cut.  It's traditional for good luck to get haircuts (really SHORT ones in the orphanages!)
2. One extra week to get our dossier ready to send off since the mail wasn't going anywhere anyway.  It's with our agency & ready to go as soon as they resume mailing to China (maybe this Friday????!!!)
3. Good excuse to have Chinese food ALOT in the next 2 weeks.  (meh....who needs an excuse?)

In other top stories:

I need a personal assistant or life coach to sort out my life and give me a list of things to do in the proper order.  But just not any help will do.  I cannot sift through all of the stuff piling up in my head, so I'm looking for someone who can go inside my mind, extract all the info they need, organize it and give me a plan.  If I have to explain anything, I'll be halfway there or I may just confuse everyone.  Maybe I need a MOMMY to just give me my list of chores for each day.  Seriously, there are balls in the air that I didn't put there and have no idea how they got there, but they are giving in to the law of gravity and falling one by one all around me.  I don't know where to even start most of the time.

But, I digress.....

God is showing up around every corner (and near every dropped ball!!) to encourage, bless, provide & care for us.  We are grateful for the timely reminders that He is faithful and good - answered prayers, shared stories, surprise donations to our adoption, good friends who encourage & walk with us.  Someone shared these words yesterday to encourage our friends, the Hooks, in their long, long, long.......adoption journey to their daughter.  I know these words were intended for them, but they were balm for my soul, too.  If there is anything that makes a heart grow faint, it is knowing that your child is on the other side of the world where you cannot get to her (or him.)

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. (Psalm 61:1-4)

 

Thankful and waiting,

Life is nuts; "baby's" first smile.

Wow, 6 weeks goes by FAST when you are ...... stressed & running around....and you thought I was going to say, "having fun".  HA!

Life is full, crazy, busy, stressful.  We are in a huge season of transition as we move in-laws close to help them (and let them watch their 7th grandchild grow up!!)  In the interim, I have loaded my plate way too full, so I'll soon have to re-tool and reorganize my schedule, commitments, home ("workspace"), etc.  Most days, I can manage to keep hope & joy alive, but some days I simply cannot.  And, never on my own strength.  God is good to stay by and care for this weak little girl of His!

We are in the "2nd trimester" wait for this amazing gift to our family.  How I wish I could say we are further along & nearing travel for him.  When we started out, I just believed that we could (possibly, with a lot of luck, paperwork cooperation & a sprinkle of fairy dust) travel in mid to late March to bring our angel home.  I quickly realized that April was more realistic - still hopeful & optimistic, but doable.  Even though I'm still praying & working toward April, we may very well not be able to travel until May or June.  Do I believe God's timing is perfect and that Joel will come home at the exact right time?  YES.  Is it hard to accept that it may be summer?  YES, TO INFINITY!!!!  In the scheme of our lives, 4-5 more months is not much, but 4-5 more DAYS without my son seems too long.

So, to keep me going, God has given us an update on our precious little guy, and we continue to pray that he will be protected, safe & continue to grow healthy.  He sure is growing in our hearts!!  Oh, the mystery of how we love our son/brother, and we've never even met!!  Part of that update included pictures - our first glimpse of his adorable smile.  Enjoy..... (oh, and keep praying!!)

Hi....I'm Joel....go ahead and take the picture.  :)

Updates....just random stuff

Not much creativity here tonight, so I'm just going to give you the facts, ma'am, just the facts. (and some random musings from my week)

1.  if you are going to have a Jesus bumper sticker on your car, you ought to think about driving well & courteously.

2. It is terrifying to hand over documents you've spent countless hours (and just a little coin on) to someone and feel great about them taking care of the package appropriately for you.  Not too comforting.

3. it's crazy to compile all the documents needed for this International dossier, but it sure is fun to show my little boy's picture and tell the story of how we are now a family of 6.  At least I can be glad about that while 
I'm imagining a couple of truck loaders tossing my certified documents around like a sack of potatoes.


4.  if you ever consider wallpapering over panelling, please, for the love of mustard, DON'T. Future generations will thank you.  If you must, at least have the courtesy to put it on with really weak adhesive.

5. don't smoke in your home unless you NEVER plan to sell it to another living soul.

6.  make sure you get a REALLY good deal on a house that's been previously smoked in.  a REALLY, UNBELIEVABLY GOOD DEAL.

7. and hope that you find a really good deal on Kilz and paint.

8.  the US Immigration office (USCIS for short) doesn't know the difference between a 9 and a 1.  And because of that, they decided that we hadn't really paid for Audra's biometrics (aka fingerprinting).

9. and apparently the department who cashed our check and the department who is handling our case aren't speaking to each other right now.  Lover's spat???

10.  The USCIS requires a copy of the FRONT AND BACK of the canceled check (for the right amount) that THEY misread as $80 too short.  And, unfortunately, your case is on hold until you can produce said copy of canceled check.

11.  The bank doesn't open until 8:30am.  Oh, they answer the phones and let you drive through at 7:30am, but it really doesn't do any good to arrive at, say 8:19am on a cold Monday morning if you need to get a copy of a canceled check.  Even if the US Immigration Service is waiting on you.

12.  I write really good blogs full of wit, zingers, interesting tidbits and compelling information while I'm driving in my car...with no access to the blog.

13.  my short term memory is shot.  can't remember much about the award-winning blogs I wrote somewhere along the I-65 corridor.

14.  i love adoption travel blogs.

15.  i'm terribly saddened by adoption travel blogs.

16.  We REALLY need a few more (hundred) contestants for the Ipod Nano giveaway.  Or the winner selected will have the distinct honor of having his or her shiny red Ipod Nano Touch purchased for them by an adorable 2 year old little guy who is waiting to come home. 

17.  The adorable 2 year old doesn't have the money to buy anyone an Ipod.  Even if he could get a good deal in China.

18.  Only $10 a chance (more $; more chances!)  for a good cause.  details in last blog entry.

19.  I'm incredibly jealous of, but SO THANKFUL for Megan, Donna & Diana.  Three women I've never met but who so unselfishly offered to take a care package to my son & get pictures & video of him this week, while they were on their own adoption trips.  Three little boys are coming home forever in a few days. Wow!  This stuff doesn't get old.  (and, they have some great pics on their blogs of what we will be experiencing next Spring)

20.  A baby changes everything.  (Love the song; love the truth.)

21.  OHHHH!!  I almost forgot to update:  my dad is doing well. Turns out, his medication was all messed up and caused him to pass out.  BUT, the God thing in all this is that they found a clot during all the random testing and were able to begin to dissolve it.  Had it gone unnoticed, it would have probably killed him.  We're grateful that he passed out and fell off the ladder (well, not really, but, you know....)  Cool thing - his heart is good, and he has no restrictions.  We'll all be together this year for Christmas.  and we'll also be giving thanks!

Congratulations on getting through the whole post.  Your reward?  A picture of our son doing what Kroeker boys do best.  :)  Is that a Twinkie?  In China?!

Music to Soothe a Toddler's Soul UPDATE

UPDATE.  We have had to cancel this fundraiser for now.  The donations haven't come in to cover the cost of the Ipod, so we feel that it would be wrong to take money OUT of Joel's adoption fund to purchase it.  Sorry to the few that sent donations in; if we have another fundraiser like this, we'll be sure to add your names into the hat!  If you'd rather, we would be happy to return your donation; just let us know.  Thanks for understanding.

Merry Christmas, everyone!!

Life is Messy

I don't always get what I want; God always takes me places where I need to go.  The things I want (naturally) are not good for me; the things God knows I need bring life & growth.  I want EASY, but with wonderful results.  I've got to do HARD to actually get stronger and more healthy, physically, relationally, emotionally, spiritually.


I really enjoy the show The Biggest Loser.  I wish I could say that I walk on the treadmill while I watch, but I don't.  I'm more likely to enjoy a fine glass of milk with cookies while watching the contestants bust their fannies. The show, however, gives me hope, encouragement & inspiration (and a good kick in the pants occasionally).  If an out-of-shape 350 pound woman can courageously push herself to work out for 4-5 hours, why can't I do 45 minutes without complaining?  I love the feeling after I've worked out; I often have trouble motivating myself to do it.


Until now.


I'm living in a messy life right now.  In the past 4 months, my world has turned upside down.  

• My precious sister lost her beloved husband in a tragic accident, leaving her a widow with 2 small boys to raise without their daddy.  
• About 4 weeks later, my brother's family experienced difficult challenges following a family member's stroke.  
• My mother-in-law has been officially diagnosed with Stage 1, Parkinson's disease.
• I've changed jobs twice in 3 months: from a 6-year tenure in children's ministries, to an all-too-short stint with a foundation involved in orphan care & advocacy, to an unexpected new position caring for and managing the affairs of my in-laws.  
• And last night, I got a call that my dad was in the hospital for some tests after passing out.  He's a past heart patient.  Preliminary tests are good, but we wait for more news.

OH, and we're adopting the most amazing little man in China....after a 15 year gap raising a toddler...as mid-forty-somethings...and one of us packed on 20 pounds this winter: carb-loading & sleep deprived while rocking babies non-stop for 6 months.  


I think it's an octopus who is dropping shoes in my world.


I'm tired.


But, just as sitting on the couch savoring cookies and milk will not make me strong, healthy and able to handle physical challenges, taking the easy road, having no strife, no mess, no craziness may make me relationally, spiritually, emotionally weak and out of breath when the hard stuff comes (and it DOES come).


I love that God is with the crazy,
the messy,
the hard.


Last week, I posted on my Facebook that I felt "worn down, like a piece of glass".  It's a phrase from "Give Me the Meltdown" by one of my favorites artists, Rob Thomas, off his amazing Cradlesong CD.  (side note: it's a tribute album to his wife in their journey living with her auto-immune disease.)  When I wrote those phrases, they simply captured what I was feeling, but God used one of my friends to encourage me in her response:

"Sea glass... Tumbled trash then comes on shore as beautiful treasure."

I imagine that she had no idea how God would use those words to encourage me in the messiness (thank you, Jamie!!)  Without the tumbling, sandy grit, turbulent water and mess of the ocean, we would simply find sharp, possibly harmful pieces of trash littering the shoreline instead of beautiful, smooth, pieces of glass that are then often woven into captivating artwork.  So, I'm trying to accept the messy, turbulent, gritty journey I'm in right now and waiting for the day that God takes my smoothed out, worn down, shiny story & places it alongside others smoothed out, worn down, shiny stories into a beautiful, translucent piece of art that allows His glory and light to be revealed.

Sea Glass Art

Scottish Fishermans Museum by dumbledad

"One of the most unique and beautiful souvenirs you can find along any seaside or lakeside beach are bits of sea glass polished and cured by the waves....Their beauty lies in their colors, especially when light is shown through them and because of that, some collectors will eventually turn this debris into some truly astounding art."  (from http://www.odysseyseaglass.com)

In the "tumbler", I'm comforted by these words:

All my longings lie open before you, Lord; 

my sighing is not hidden from you.

Psalm 38:9

And, from the 2nd chapter of Jonah:

 You hurled me into the depths, into the very heart of the seas,
   and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers swept over me.
I said, ‘I have been banished from your sight;
yet I will look again toward your holy temple.’
The engulfing waters threatened me,
   the deep surrounded me;
   seaweed was wrapped around my head.
To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
   the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you, LORD my God, 

brought my life up from the pit.

My Father is Lord of the ocean.

I'm not alone in the gritty turbulence.

Hallelujah.